Thursday, April 30, 2009

You Are Not a Winner

I enjoy how my online dating service sets me up. I often get e-mails like this: "LSL! Robert has sent you a communication!" I go - Whoopie! and click on the link only to find: "Robert has chosen to close communication." Really? Why the big lead up? Couldn't I have found that out on my own next time I sign in? Why compel me to fumble with my tiny keyboard on my iPhone in line at the grocery store? 

Speaking of, I think it's time for another edition of I Read It In An Online Profile (of A Person I Am Apparently Compatible With on 29 Dimensions):

"I like cheese. I really like cheese."
"My eyes are blue. The shade of blue depends on what I'm wearing."
"I can't live without my toothbrush (Sonicare yeah)"
"I am fascinated by books about kryptozoology"
"I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People a long time ago, but it was a little touchy-feely for me."
"I was a high school football champ. 1989. Good times."

Sunday, April 26, 2009

With A Twist

I know, I just haven't really felt like posting lately. I've been busy doing a lot of fun things, like these:
  • Today I went to see the very depressing Two Lovers at the Living Room Theater downtown. It's so very hipster and cool: love seats and ottomans, wine and cheese plates instead of Jujubes and Red Vines. They have a full bar, so I think it would be fun another night to sip on a martini while watching something good. They have a couple of Japanese films there now, so I think I'll be back soon.
  • I went to another reading at Powell's last week. Franz Wisner and cute brother Kurt, of Honeymoon With my Brother, were there for their latest book, How the World Makes Love. Wow, you will not find two nicer guys. That was fun.
  • I spent two days at the coast watching the surfers and eating yummer bars. Amazing, amazing to be back at the beach - those were great days. I have no idea how I lived away from water these past three years.
  • Just for fun and great drugs I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. I recommend you get your drugs another way.
  • I purchased and started my One to One sessions so I can finally learn the other million things my Mac does beside take self-portraits and kick my ass at chess.
  • I'm reading what I guess is called a graphic novel called Burma Chronicles. I found it at the beach, and it's so good, but I feel a little silly reading what is basically a comic book. What's next, manga?
  • Ok, I'm also reading some manga. Me and thousands of angsty sixteen-year-old boys. I can't find the very cool Saint Young Men, so I'm settling for Deathnote. I know. Next is cereal boxes.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Be an Ally & a Friend

GLAAD is looking for straight allies. How easy is it to stand up for treating everyone with dignity and respect?



Thanks, JMG. Count me in.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Top Ten

Things To Do When You're Not Eating
  1. Watch the Food Channel
  2. Go to Barnes & Noble to browse books (there are a lot of cupcake books out there)
  3. Listen to your sister recount the nine-course French meal she ate last night
  4. Buy $40 of American candy to send to cute gremlins in Japan
  5. Clean out your fridge
  6. Do dishes
  7. Drink a gallon of apple juice
  8. Think about how food tastes
  9. Make a shopping list
  10. Watch television hoping for food commercials

Friday, April 3, 2009

Jazz Hands

I had a blast at Heather Armstrong's reading at Powell's on Tuesday night. For those of you who just came out of a ten-year coma, welcome back, and also - Heather writes the uber-popular blog Dooce

She was taller and even funnier than I anticipated, and she had great presence. Very confident in an approachable way that doesn't turn you off. Her southern accent is stronger than I thought, and I struggle with all things southern, but it was ok. I handled it. She's very likable. I laughed my butt off. Also, kick ass heels. Really great shoes.  

Heather read two portions of her book, one about her boobs and one about post-baby sex, and then took questions. I arrived an hour early by mistake, so I had a front row seat and was second to get my book signed. It was nice to get in and get out, as it had become a bit of a mob scene by the time she started.  

Two things I wanted to comment on about the reading. One is that I sat by a girl who was an EX-TRO-VERT! and she started talking to me when my buns hit the chair and didn't stop until I ran out the front door of Powell's, looking over my shoulder to see if I was being followed. She was a nice person, as I guess some of you extroverts can be, and I like chatting with folks, but this was a serious challenge for me. Lots of talking. Personal details. Use of outside voice indoors. 

The other thing is that some of the folks at the reading freaked me out. The way people act around famous or well-known people scares me a little. I get a little star-struck and can't form words very effectively, which is dorky and predictable, but there's another reaction that I find unsettling - the thing where people feel very familiar with celebrities and relate to them like close friends. At a few different points folks in the audience would make comments directly to Heather out loud or respond to rhetorical questions so that the entire group (a couple hundred, I would guess) could hear. It made me uneasy. Hi, we're all here, it's not just a conversation between you and the speaker. Please stop freaking me out. After the reading when my extrovert seat mate left (after jumping out from behind a row of books and yelling, "Boo!" to scare me; oh, that seat mate and I shared some laughs, yes we did) she said to me very earnestly, "Oh man, I want to be her friend!" referring to Heather. I don't know, I'm not saying she's weirder than anyone else, but it kind of freaks my freak.

I guess there was one more item of note. Heather referred to Twitter at one point and I got the vibe that the majority of the crowd didn't know what she was talking about. My mom has invited me to follow her on Twitter. I've seen that unbelievably irritating Kat.hy Lee whoever on the Tod.ay Show talk about Twitter. If you don't know about it, you're more than a late adopter, ok? It's time to come to terms with that.

I wasn't sure if either It Sucked and Then I Cried or the reading would have anything super-relevant to me, single and barren as I am. But I like to laugh just as much as the next guy (actually, probably much, much more), and the other themes in the book are universal - discouragement, insecurities, depression, hope in hell, dogs who eat their own shit. I really enjoyed it.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Look Back: March

I found this meme somewhere in a similar form, I don't know where, too much clicking through and around. But it seemed like it might be a good monthly review, something to get me blogging when I don't feel like it. 

TEN THINGS
  1. I'm currently reading: Last week I read My Booky Wook by Russell Brand, and I'm currently reading It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong and The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. I'm loving all three!
  2. Newest music I added to my iTunes: I just downloaded a live version of Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson, and I just bought Nothing Fancy by Craig Carothers (love, love, love.)
  3. Movies I saw: I saw a few different movies in NY while passing the days getting ready for the move, but nothing that stuck out. 
  4. Yummy food I made: I haven't made anything lately. I made creamy chicken enchiladas at my sister's before leaving. They were great!
  5. The last place I ate out: Sadly, Burgerville. But I've eaten at tons of great Portland eateries lately, including The Red Fig, Pastini's, and Noah's New York Bagels.
  6. Something that I'm thankful for: My apartment. It's small and I can hear the neighbors showering, but it's mine.
  7. Something that made me cry: Saying goodbye to so much to make room for my new life in Portland.
  8. Something that made me laugh: Talking with my sister; we laugh a lot. Also, I was able to laugh at all the move-induced chaos (for short periods, in between the tears.)
  9. Something I'm looking forward to: My first trip back to the Pacific Ocean.
  10. Something I want to remember about this month: I went through a lot in March. Most of it was pretty difficult, but, with the help of a lot of family and friends, I made it. It was a big transition and I feel good to have gone through it.