We had group projects in every class this week, so I was able to participate in groups with the kids. I loved it. I tried to float around in order to spend time with almost everyone, and it was the first time I was able to get real one-on-one interaction. It was pretty great. The kids are so genuine - I'm surprised how much I'm enjoying them. They have crazy answers to questions! I love hearing how their little incomplete brains work. Their logic is so unique to their age. I paid special attention to see who I was drawn to (overachievers, loners, ethnic minorities) and what qualities repelled me (entitlement, extra snotiness) and tried hard to give everyone my full, equal attention. Wow, they want it. And at one point I caught a couple kids trying to cheat during a test and I gave them stink eye that hopefully burnt permanent holes into their foreheads. They stopped immediately.
In the correspondence that I receive from the grad school I'm considering, they keep saying they want to help me with my "dream of becoming a teacher." It's bugging me bad. Being a teaching isn't a secret wish I've been nurturing for 30 years. They way they're phrasing it makes me wonder if I shouldn't go in this direction because that isn't my story. I'm worried that they're focused on one type of story.
The longer I spend in the classroom, the more I think I could really, really like teaching. I don't think I'd do it for free, and I do think it would feel like a job - it seems like there are some parts that are pretty hard. But I think it could be a job that I would enjoy and that could be satisfying. I wasn't sure I'd feel that way about teaching high school, and I definitely didn't get that from my first day of observation, so it feels good to be enjoying the experience. I'm really looking forward to next week.
This is definitely an interesting journey you've found yourself on. But ain't that always the way? (I'm so happy for you. See? You're going to be okay.)
ReplyDeleteI just got an email from a lady at PSU about being in a 'pre' program. Like pre-medicine or pre-veterinary, etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI said yes (to pre-naturalistic medicine) but I don't know if it's a dream of mine. I would be happy doing any number of things that are not that, but I think I'd be just as happy doing that too.
I get where you are coming from with 'dream of teaching' bugging you. It bugs me too.
Wow, longest comment ever?
And I'm really glad you like the high school kids so far. :)
As a teacher, I think that going into it the way you are---with the knowledge that you need to respond to all kids equally, that sometimes a stink eye is all that's necessary and that teaching is hard work but also rewarding is the exact attitude you should take in. I've seen too many bright-eyed, bushy-tailed people come in with these cheery "everything about teaching is dreamy" attitudes and I think they get disillusioned. I'm excited for you...from what I've read, I think you'd make an amazing educator.
ReplyDeleteI like that absolutely no one I know knows what they want to do with themselves. Anyway, as long as you make more money teaching then you spend becoming a teacher dont worry about it. That's how my brain works.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather sit on hot glass while blowing Rush Limbaugh than spend 5 minutes in a classroom of teenagers.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, my friend. This is most definitely something good for you, 'cuz you have to be one special soul to actually *like* children at that age.
Not all people go into teaching because they dreamt about it. I, too, started "teaching" (because sometimes teaching in Korea involves less teaching than I'd like) after banking (and wow, was that not for me.)
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you get nerded out over psych is just another reason to love you.
ReplyDeleteLittle kids, I could totally do. Teenagers?? EEEKKKKK!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about what they want you to be. Be you. And if you like it, do it.
remember when you thought banking was what you wanted to do with your life? and now you're here.
ReplyDeletedoes anyone really know what they want to be when they grow up? i think even the people who are certain aren't.
you have to make a decision based on what you know right now, not what you might know two years from now. take a leap of faith. it'll be ok. and what's the worst that happens? you're out a little money? you can always make more money. balance that with doing something that you will enjoy and i think the answer is pretty obvious.
plus. eharmony guy #4 ?!?!?.