Re: the school/job thing, I don't know. It's a bit of a cluster right now.
I am still running a few times a week, which is very positive. If I ever make casual reference to no longer running, please break into my apartment, gently take the box of Captain Crunch out of my hands, and give me lots of hugs. Then lace up my tennies and carry me around the track.
I had a dentist appointment yesterday. My teef are always great, but I've been having some gum sensitivity so I asked my dentist about it. She poked around in my mouth and then told me it's most likely because I'm peri-menopausal. (I mean, really? Do we need to do this right now?) I said, "What???" loud enough for it to echo throughout the office, and then told her I wasn't really equipped to handle the discussion and maybe we could talk about it next time.
So I'm trying very hard to do things that make me feel like the earth is going to continue spinning on its axis, like avoiding the mainstream media, and focus on things that make me believe I'm going to make it, like these:
- I try to remember that spring is coming and very soon there will be surfable waves more often. I think this will make a world of difference.
- I have a small circle of best peeps I can call when I need someone to crawl into my mental space with me.
- I'm not much of a TV bug, but the old Iconoclasts episodes with Sean Penn/Jon Krakauer and Eddie Vedder/Laird Hamilton (iTunes) calm me down.
- My Flickr favorites really inspire me.
- I totally avoid Twitter. Oh, the kvetching. (Me included!)
- I attend Al-Anon.
- I write letters. To myself or other people. With paper and stamps and stuff.
- I've been walking around my neighborhood in the evening. It's pretty relaxing.
- I go to church.**
- I have a few go-to movies that help bring me back and make me believe that good things come from hard times. They include City Slickers, Parenthood, Miracle, and Step Into Liquid.
- I have a few go-to books that make me feel like I'm not crazy. The list usually starts with Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott.
- I listen to a specific mix of music, and it always includes Craig Carothers. How lucky am I that he's doing a string of shows here starting tomorrow night? Very lucky.
- I do the thankful list. Gratitude can be so transformative.
- I look through a massive file I have that contains encouraging quotes, poems and blog comments. I always find something that speaks to me. This is one quote I like right now: Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands alone. Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here. - Pueblo Verse