Jules and I did our thing today. I don't know; it was tough. I know I'm a broken record (Oh god, does that saying even make sense anymore?) but I'm having a hard time right now, blah blah blah, and I knew it would feel good to get in the water, but I struggled the entire day with staying present. And it's hard to surf when you're spacing off or resisting your feelings.
I took some rides on the inside just to find my feet, and then I took some green waves with Jules giving me a little push, and then we paddled out and I tried for some more green. I think I'm learning more each time I go out, but it sure is hard to understand the timing and get the amount of paddle power I need to get those green. I got some so-so rides on the inside, but couldn't get anything outside. I did try several and ended up doing slow-motion pearls, but that was kind of good because it's helpful to get used to the steepness of the green waves, even if I'm not able to ride them very often yet. Jules said she felt like I showed a lot of courage in trying new things and having new experiences.
Surfing is so hard to accept, to surrender to, at times. I must have told Jules this 100 times, but with running or banking or just about every other thing in life, you figure out what you want to accomplish, set your goal, and there are specific steps you can take to get pretty much exactly where you want to be. 1 + 1 = 2. With surfing, time in the water is obviously key, but there are so many other factors involved that you just can't get a guarantee that 5 sessions out means you're going to be 5 sessions better than you were before. 1 + 1 ≠ 2. It's one of the reasons I love it. And one of the reasons it keeps me pulling my hair out. (But coming back for more.)
While I got up for almost every ride today, I didn't have many long, smooth rides. I just couldn't feel my feet on the deck and inhabit my body long enough to ride all the way in. Weird - I don't think I've ever had that problem before. I was really stuck in my head today. The lesson after mine no-showed, so Jules grabbed her board and asked if I wanted to paddle out again. We ended up going out for another hour plus, and by the end of the day, my arms and shoulders were begging me to quit. There is a reason most surfers are in rad shape. I didn't catch anything that second time out, but made several more attempts, and had a great time watching Jules take some gorgeous waves.
Best ride of the day: On the way in for a break, Jules and I both took a wave at the same time and wound up riding in right next to each other. Once I got up and got my bearings, I looked next to me and said, "Hey!" I was so surprised to see her there, just a few feet away. She said, "Party wave!" and did a little dance. It was so fun.