Santa's Workshop

I finished my school assignments at about 2 AM last Thursday morning. I went to work on Thursday and stayed until 2 AM Friday morning, glad to finally have a mind clear of school and anxious to prove to my boss after weeks of being cranky, forgetful, and visibly tired, that I could focus.

Friday is the first day of my weekend and I've rarely been so happy to see it come. I started it off with a little jog (a very little jog) and then shifted into Christmas shopping mode. I did a ton of cleaning around the house, spent about 5 hours running around to nearby shops, and finished it all off with a massage. Ahhh. That night I stayed up until 6 AM Saturday (I know; I've been having a lot of insomnia lately) finishing my Christmas cards and turning my 2nd bedroom into Santa's Workshop.


On Saturday I set out to a local, newish shopping center that I'd never been to before to finish my shopping. That's right. I went to a new shopping center on the Saturday before Christmas. I limited myself to 2 1/2 hours, come hell or high water, and what happened next is truly a Christmas miracle because I enjoyed the hell out of those 2 1/2 hours. I went into just a few of my favorite shops and thought of the people I was buying for and magically drew a few perfect little symbols of love right into my shopping basket. It was that easy. And then I went to the next shop and did it again. I left a couple hours later with treasures I was excited to give and my shopping done.

On Saturday night I celebrated Christmas with a great friend for what we decided was the 18th year. What a gift. And then I decided it was an awesome idea to stay up until 5 AM Sunday morning preparing 36 gift bags for residents of a rehab center I've been donating a little time to for the past six months. Addicts are kind of assholes and I've noticed that most of the guys don't have family or friends lining up to call, write, or visit. I think recovery is hard enough without going through the holidays alone, so I'm hoping this gesture will let them know that someone cares.


Today my workweek started (still not sure why you guys let me get a job) and tonight I'm racing to get everything wrapped and boxed to be mailed tomorrow. I know I'll pay a mint. But I have candles lit and my Christmas music on and I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. I'm not saying that the holidays are easy. This is a really tough one, actually. But I think it was those years in Japan spending the holidays alone that gave me a new perspective. You'll never hear me bitching about Christmas music in October or stores putting out holiday items before Thanksgiving. I've always felt those are complaints for people without real problems.

Besides, I know what I've got. And it's a lot.

Where Young People Go To Retire

Dear Every City in the Entire World,

We know you want to be like us.

Give up.

Love,
Portland

The Point: Almost Done

Last night was my last class before a three-week Christmas break. I've been functioning at about 1% in the past week (or month) - not exercising, eating terribly, not returning calls or e-mails, and getting about 3 hours of sleep a night. It's been pretty bad. I was SO excited to wrap up class, as were my colleagues, only to get to class and be assigned three short projects to be done by 12/22.

Anti-climactic. You should have seen the faces fall when she announced it. If there were an ounce of energy left collectively among us, there probably would have been a coup d'état. Instead there was mumbling, a little rocking back and forth, and I might have shed a tear.

I stayed up until 1:30 and got two of the papers done, and now only have one more project to do, which won't be hard and I can finish it this weekend. But, really?

Also last night we started working on our student teaching placements for next year. (And that is a sentence I never thought I would be writing.) I am requesting a social studies placement in a middle school for the fall, and a dual psych/business placement in a high school for the winter and spring. I cannot fathom - cannot imagine in any way - that I will actually be in a classroom teaching lessons plans that I have created to young faces with bedhead in less than a year. At this point, I would say that the chances of that happening are 50/50. At best.

But it does feel good to dream. I feel good about where I am and where I am headed.

Close

Heavens to murgatroid. I've been locked down in my house as if it were a bunker since last Thursday. I'm almost at the end of the semester in school and I had four, count them: four, papers to write for one of my classes. They were due last week, so I'd already missed the deadlines, but I was really hoping to get them all done this weekend. I even took today off work to try to finish. I didn't quite make it, so right now I have one paper (kind of a hard one) left for the first class, and then one small assignment for my other class that is ending on Wednesday. It all kind of sucks and I'm over, over, o-v-e-r it at this point, but I have to stay focused and pull that last paper out of somewhere.

Coming soon: a three week break, sleep, exercise, Christmas shopping, actual communication with friends, and maybe even a television show or two.

Must. Focus.

We'll Get There

The road is long with many a winding turn
That lead us to who knows where,
who knows where
But I'm strong,
strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear, we'll get there

For I know
he would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I am laden with sadness that
everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness
of Love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
while we're on our way to there why not share

And the load doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He ain't heavy
He's my brother

Decking Halls

It's been such a hard week, but I'm on a four-day weekend right now. I'm relieved to have the break, but my mind is racing every minute about the homework left to do in the next two weeks. It's ugly.

Huntington Beach is here for 3 days and yesterday we celebrated his birthday. It's been really nice to spend time with him again. He helped me get a Christmas tree (we went outside of my snooty neighborhood and saved over $40 -- can I get an awwww yeah!) and he put the bloody thing in the stand, which means it's the very first time I've had my tree straight and not leaning against a window or something! It looks beautiful. We put the lights on and then decorated it with ornaments, and then had birthday apple pie and ice cream. It was a really nice evening.

HB has homework of his own to do, so we're going to dig in today and be studious. I have so much to get done. Please cross fingers.

So, anyway, what do we do with snorers? Just kill them and hide the bodies? Jeeeeeesus.