Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Now

  • I watched a movie tonight. It's so unusual for me to do that, but I did, and it was the third movie I've watched in the last two weeks. It's felt great to sit long enough to watch a movie. Actually, I think it's that it feels good to watch a movie and have my mind engaged and not racing on a million other stresses. They're still there, but I'm mellowing out a bit. There's just too much to worry over; I maxed out and decided I can't keep up so I'm just letting it be. It's a relief.
  • The three movies I've watched recently were: Annie Hall, Raising Arizona, and Fair Game, and I enjoyed them all. I think Sean Penn is my favorite actor, and it's saying something that I would have a favorite actor. In my opinion, "famous" is another word for mentally ill, and I have no interest in celebrity of any kind. But I feel moved every time I watch something he's in. It was fun to relax and watch that tonight.
  • I'm getting my hairs cut tomorrow. I'm so ready.
  • I hate exercising all of a sudden. (Ok, not all of a sudden, but it's bad lately.) Man, I gotta get over that.
  • I've been dealing with something really difficult the last couple of weeks - Jules and I have parted ways. So hard. I think she's amazing and I have tremendous respect for her. If you're in Oregon and you want to learn to surf, she's the only option. So now is the time for some pretty deep sadness for me. I've taken a little break from surfing, which is difficult, but I'm doing ok and I'll be back at it at some point soon.
  • I don't know where I found this on the Internets, but I like it:

  • The dentist appointment went fine. What was I worried about?
  • The maintenance man came to fix my dryer this morning and decided to check the washer when he was done. He told me it's broken and hasn't been washing my clothes; it's just been spinning them around. Fun. I wonder how long I've been wearing dirty clothes!


  1. Oh No! I'm so sorry to hear that you and Jules are no longer friends - that's a real shock! It's weird how sometimes you can be so close to someone and think the world of them for the longest time and then lose them in one conversation. I don't know if that's what happened, but your entry reminded me of a devastating loss in my own life many years back.

    I know that surfing is a big chunk of your contentment, so I'm going to be worried about you until I know you've found an outlet again. Is this why sewing came to the fore all of a sudden?

    I revisited "Annie Hall" again recently, prior to my trip to New York, and couldn't see why it had got the Oscar. I remember enjoying it immensely 25 years ago, but not so much now. "Interiors" I really appreciated this time around, and "Love and Death" always makes me giggle.

    Whilst in New York, I took note of a badge on sale at MoMA that featured a Winston Churchill quote:

    "If you're going through Hell... keep going"

    Sending you a big hug


  2. Oh Love, I am so sorry. Take time to grieve. She is something special. Don't stay away from surfing too long, you do better with it :)

    (thanks for the nice note on my pics)

  3. I know you will rise up and out of this dark time. I'm glad you're allowing yourself some no thinking time (movies). We all need a little escape from our mind chatter from time to time. No shame in that! I really can't wait to see you in a couple weeks, hug the shit out of you, and have some quality time catching up.

  4. Love you, dude. Hugely and always.

  5. Oh wow, I can't even imagine how hard this must be. I'm so sorry, wish it could be different. It baffles me how things could go that low, seemed like such a good fit from this perspective. But it is what it should be according to the bigger picture. Take care of you!

  6. I am so sorry that you and Jules parted ways and you are taking a break from surfing.

    I love you and I know you'll get through this better than before like you always do! You are such an inspiration to me! :)