Wonky

I had my 4th sewing class last Friday and the task was a bias-cut skirt. Now. I've been super stoked for this class because it was supposed to be a really simple pattern and I envisioned myself making a bunch of easy, cute skirts for myself for work after figuring out the first one with the instructor's help.

Yeah, not so much. I don't know; the shape is kind of funny and the bottom serged hem didn't turn out very good. I did put double-sided elastic around the waist and that went great, but the whole thing just didn't come together in reality like it did in my head. It was disappointing.

My teacher was a garment designer in NY -- I've had her a couple of times now and she's very patient. In response to my skirt she said several times, "It's ok. It's like the first pancake." Isn't that hilarious? And you guys have seen my pancakes (not a euphemism).

I guess I just use fabric I'm not in love with and try it again and again until I get better. Not exactly how I'd hoped it would go, but sewing does seem to have a pretty quick learning curve. (I say that even though I've made 1,000 of those zipper pouches and I still can't get the zippers right.) I guess everything seems to have a quick learning curve when you take 9 months to stand up on a surfboard.

Still making my little creations, still working on the Etsy shop, still enjoying the colors and textures of different fabric, still having fun.

Grumble, Grumble

I'm over my professors saying the following to me:

• No need to take notes today; I'll send you these slides. 
• You don't need to write this down. 
• Hey, really: don't worry about writing this down! 
• No need to take notes today!

We're in a teachers ed program; every class is basically about how different people learn in different ways. I can't pay attention or retain information if I'm not writing. Can they please shut up and/or get therapy for their control issues?

(Brought to you by 3 hours of sleep, a bad haircut, and class on a rare sunny Saturday.) 

Thank You, New York!

It's about damn time.

Give Away Results

I used random.org to pick two people to make bags for, and it came up with commenters (from this post) 5 & 7. That means A Thirty Something and Bigezbear get their own handmade, uneven, crazy little bag from me.

Please e-mail me your mailing address, which type of bag you'd like (zipper or draw-string), and if you have any fabric preferences -- I have most of what you see below and some other kinds, too.

Thank you for helping me practice! If I find more bags that need homes, I'll start at the top of the commenters and work my way down the list. Thanks for reading, guys :)

10 Myths About Introverts

I found this on Kottke, but it comes from a guy named Carl. As soon as I read it, I sent it to two of my bosses and two of my direct reports with a note that said, 'This is my instruction manual." Is it too long to get tattooed on my forehead?

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time. 

Full list is here.

Learning

I'm in two classes right now, although one ends soon and that will leave me with just one until our brief summer break in August. One class is on middle school curriculum and the other is on teaching history (content pedagogy). It's no secret that I've been disappointed in this program (and if it is, then I need to complain more), but dare I say it? I love these classes. Especially the one on content pedagogy. I LOVE it! It's taught by a very young gentleman who has been teaching middle school for 4 years. This is his first time teaching grad school. When he introduced himself in the first class, I almost laughed out loud, but I quickly realized that Sensei knows a thing or two. It's fantastic. He's fantastic. The last few classes have been killing me softly - to the point that I've been wondering if I took a seriously wrong turn somewhere. But this class has me feeling like: this feels right.

For the past week, I've been listening to my textbook on audible (how do we say this now? I almost typed "book on tape." Jesus.) while cutting out fabric for projects. It is so relaxing and fun. I leave my Mac Book open so I can type quick notes as I listen, but other than that, I go about my business, engaging my hands and my mind.

(Side note: as I'm fully absorbed by the mid-life crisis I'm having, I have to mention that I don't know how, but this process is helping me. Something about mid-life feels like a tiny relief. You really do get to stop caring about a lot. I don't know exactly what's going on, but I appreciate that it doesn't all feel like shrinking or grief.) (Side note to the side note: my new hair dresser is about to turn 29 and she had the nerve to tell me she had her "mid-life" crisis at 25. Isn't that cute? I didn't punch her when she said it. I thought I had my mid-life crisis at 25, too, until the real one started. Mon dieu.) (Last side note: my new hair cut is just ok. She took a ton of hair, which is good, but I was hoping for something a little more edgy. My new look firmly says: Soccer Mom. Crap.)

The text I'm listening to is so wonderfully subversive -- so radical -- that occasionally while listening I start looking over my shoulder and wondering if I may get a knock at the door any minute. The book is Lies My Teacher Told Me by J. Lowen, and it will rock your world. Must read. Now. But don't count on ever being able to sit down for another Thanksgiving dinner afterwards.

Last night while listening to Lowen describe Helen Keller as the die-hard socialist that she was, I tried another zipper pouch. I love the fabric, but man, I messed up that zipper. I cannot seem to figure those out. 

Tonight while learning about Christopher Columbus, the Jew, I decided to cut out several tote bags and iron on the interfacing so they're almost ready to sew. Could this material be cuter? That one with the bikes is organic, and it's so soft that you immediately want to strip off all your clothes and wrap your body in it. Or so I've heard.

This is me working it out. It's going pretty good.

Give Away

Awesome Venn diagram from the amazing Indexed, as usual

I'm having fun making my little bags and pouches, but I'm collecting quite a stack! I'm trying to practice enough until I feel comfortable putting the finished product on Etsy (voilà!), and it's taking longer than I thought it would. I was thinking that anyone who would like a zipper pouch or draw-string bag can leave a comment, and after a few days I will randomly pick a couple of numbers, and whatever comments the numbers correspond to, I will make bags for those peeps. I think I'll need to stick to the those two types of small bags because the large ones are too expensive to make and I don't need as much practice on those as I do on the others. 

Here's what they look like: zipper pouch, drawstring bag

Here's what I can promise you:

• I'll choose any kind of cute fabric I have (you can tell me if you have a favorite color or something)
• It's all washed, high-quality cotton, and some of it is from Japan
• I'll make it sometime in the next month, although I think it'll be in a week-ish
• I'll mail it to you, so it's totally free
• There may or may not be a little surprise in it (chocolate, lint, something)
• It might be big enough to hold your iPhone and keys, or it might not
• I have a lot of bad habits but none of them are smoking, so it will be made in a smoke-free environment
• It will have mistakes and not be perfect (just like me)
• It might look weird or be uneven
• Maybe it will fall apart; I don't know

Thank you for helping me practice!

The Now

• I watched a movie tonight. It's so unusual for me to do that, but I did, and it was the third movie I've watched in the last two weeks. It's felt great to sit long enough to watch a movie. Actually, I think it's that it feels good to watch a movie and have my mind engaged and not racing on a million other stresses. They're still there, but I'm mellowing out a bit. There's just too much to worry over; I maxed out and decided I can't keep up so I'm just letting it be. It's a relief.
• The three movies I've watched recently were: Annie Hall, Raising Arizona, and Fair Game, and I enjoyed them all. I think Sean Penn is my favorite actor, and it's saying something that I would have a favorite actor. In my opinion, "famous" is another word for mentally ill, and I have no interest in celebrity of any kind. But I feel moved every time I watch something he's in. It was fun to relax and watch that tonight.
• I'm getting my hairs cut tomorrow. I'm so ready.
• I hate exercising all of a sudden. (Ok, not all of a sudden, but it's bad lately.) Man, I gotta get over that.
• I've been dealing with something really difficult the last couple of weeks - Jules and I have parted ways. So hard. I think she's amazing and I have tremendous respect for her. If you're in Oregon and you want to learn to surf, she's the only option. So now is the time for some pretty deep sadness for me. I've taken a little break from surfing, which is difficult, but I'm doing ok and I'll be back at it at some point soon.
• I don't know where I found this on the Internets, but I like it:

PS:

• The dentist appointment went fine. What was I worried about?
• The maintenance man came to fix my dryer this morning and decided to check the washer when he was done. He told me it's broken and hasn't been washing my clothes; it's just been spinning them around. Fun. I wonder how long I've been wearing dirty clothes!

Also, Toast

Under The Influence

 I am quite stoned tonight. I have a pretty intense dentist appointment on Tuesday and the doc gave me some pills she said she'd like me to use recreationally before the appointment to see how they affect me. I think it's safe to say they do the trick.

So I was thinking just light sewing tonight (after I got time out by the pool and a ton of homework done) since I had some new tunes courtesy of the amazing Jeni Angel. So I made this little draw-string pouch:

It's kind of basic, but I think it turned out pretty cute. Great to put treats in for a care package, or maybe use a small one for an emergency chocolate stash in your desk.

Then the drugs kicked in and I had even poorer judgment than before, so I started making another bag. This one is smaller than the last:

That's about all for tonight. I was going to try to watch a movie but I think I'm totally baked at this point. What's my name again? Good night.

Creating

You know how sometimes things just fall in line? When everything in life is going pretty great and it just feels good? That is not happening at all.

So tonight I hung out with a great friend who just *gets* it, and then I came home, put the homework aside, and decided to sew.

I love my new bag, but I also wanted a smaller version, like the Japanese bag I carry every day. So I got the Japanese bag and measured it:

Then I put on some Meaghan Smith:

And then I got to cutting, ironing, and sewing. Guess what I came up with?

!

I was so pleased. It's almost an exact representation of my Japanese bag. How did that happen? And look at this cute fabric up close:

  

What a relaxing evening. I needed that :)

In The Bag

Project #3. This time I took a class to make a bag. Something about it being sunny out and the fun group of women in the class and the Tina/Dolly/Barbra mix in the background made it a particularly fun time.

I noticed a really strong, awesome girl power-vibe that morning. I ordered lunch from the Tin Shed (holy hell, San Fran sandwich: call me) and when I walked a few doors down to get it, I saw a truck right outside of the sewing shop with a huge pile of gravel that was being unloaded by two muscle girls. Walk a few steps and I see a woman dressed to the 9's doing business on her cell phone leaning up against a (probably vegan) boutique shoe store staffed and filled with young, confident-looking women. Next door was a community garden where a group of, you guessed it, women were making things beautiful. That seemed to be the theme of the day. I got my food and when I walked back into Modern Domestic, Tina was belting out a song and my classmates were reminiscing about sewing-related injuries (nothing wimpy here; think needle-in-the-eye and rotary blades over multiple digits). No boys in sight. The whole day was really fun.

Here's the process: Cutting.

Sewing. Right-sides together always feels wrong.

Straps and top-stitch.

Herro.

Finished product!

Summer Waves

I surfed with Jules on Friday and it ended up being a really amazing day - the first great session of the season, and maybe my best session ever in terms of my learning curve.

I've mentioned before that the summer waves are just different from the waves any other time of the year: 4' in summer is more of a soft (not always gentle), rolling wave. 4' in the winter has teeth. It's hard to describe, but there's a difference. And when Jules and I waded into the water, I immediately said, "It's summer water!" and she agreed.

I had an early lesson (9:30) that day, and I was set on using Sally (my 10' board) anyway, but it ended up being necessary because it was really small - maybe 3'. (Smaller waves = bigger board.) It was hard to get used to her again, and I wasn't exactly graceful out there, but it did feel good to be on my own board. After a handful of attempts and a couple of rides on the inside, Jules and I paddled out.

The weather was beautiful - I didn't even use my 1 mil-ish rash guard. The sun was shining hot and it actually felt pretty good to be in the water (and not like risking hypothermia like it usually does). The waves were so small that it was really tough to find anything to dig into, but I made several attempts. And the waiting during the lulls was awesome -- just Jules and I sitting on our boards, listening to the silence, watching the birds and the horizon, waiting for waves.

The few I took out there were so crazy -- I know 3' isn't that steep, but it feels like such a big drop when I'm headed there face-first. I went feet over head on my first ride, and immediately felt discouraged. I told Jules that I just don't know how that will ever feel natural, how I'll ever understand the timing and be able to be on my feet early enough to go down even a tiny face. When I'm laying on the board, the minute the nose is lower than my feet, I freak.

I have to say, Jules was so patient -- not really with me, but with the process. Sometimes she seems like she doesn't have a worry in the world about whether or not I'll eventually get it. I'm ready to pack it in and Jules is totally calm. It's like she can see around a corner that is totally blind to me. She tells me that it just takes practice - doing it - and that eventually I'll be able to feel when to paddle, when to pop, where I'm at in the wave. And her confidence - in the ocean? In the process? In me? - did something to me that day, and I started going for it on more and more waves. We ended my lesson with me getting a few good rides, a few baby greens, and then Jules went off to teach another lesson.

I was pretty tired, and I had planned to get back to town early so I could get some homework done, but it was too beautiful to quit that day. Jules's bf paddled out, and encouraged me to surf with him. (You guys - such a cool guy and so fun to watch surf.) I got out for a few minutes to refuel and decide whether or not I should stay, and ending up going back out -- sans booties. It was that nice out. My plan was to get another few rides in with my feet directly on the deck until it was too cold to continue, and then I would go home. But it was so awesome that I ended up spending another couple of hours in the water, the whole time without my booties on!

My board didn't have enough wax, so I took some flying leaps off that thing, skidding right down it and straight off the front end. But I got bolder and bolder, and had more and more fun, and ended up going back and forth between the white water and paddling out. I got several awesome, long, curvy rides where I practiced balancing, scootching, and making micro-turns. That felt great. But the best thing was that I was just doing it -- I went for a ton of waves, maybe 1/2 green, and I wiped out over and over, flinging myself and my board all over that cove, from hell to breakfast. But it was awesome, and even in just the time I was doing that, I felt the process get more familiar. I felt less fear about the face-first thing, and slightly more comfortable and aware of the timing on green waves.

In the time I was out there screwing around, Jules actually finished her lesson and then paddled out with her bf and me. I watched them take waves when I wasn't trying myself, and it felt great to be out there with friends. Jules's bf eventually went in, and Jules and I hung out for another 30 minutes or so, just enjoying the hot sun and talking about how surfing can change your life. Yes, it can.

I don't know what to tell you. No monster green waves, no hanging ten, no major breakthroughs. But I really went for it and remembered again, for the first time in a while, that surfing can be such pure fun and that totally botching it over and over can be progress, too. All of that and no booties! It was a really great day in the water.

Rough

I went out with Jules last Saturday and again yesterday. What a dream. Summer is coming and the surf is finally semi-consistent; no more going three months waiting for a wave. (At least, not until autumn.)

Last Saturday was funky. I was still trying different boards (courtesy of the surf shop) and I'd taken the 9'2" out again. In our beach talk, Jules and I had a ton to catch up on - it's been so long since we've worked together consistently. It ended up being kind of a crap session for me - I just couldn't find my groove. I do much better now on the 9'2" than on Sally, my 10', but I was just feeling kind of over being on borrowed boards. I told Jules that I needed to figure it out and either get a new board or get back with Sally, and she said I was becoming a surf snob. Me? A snob? Inconceivable. But that wasn't it -- it feels so good to work with the same board. All I can say is that each session is like investing in a relationship, and riding a different board each session made me feel like I was wasting time building a relationship with a board I'd never see again. (Jules suggested I think of riding the 9'2" as an awesome one night stand :) I slid around a bit and did ok, but it was too big to go out (and by "too big" I mean way too big - I swear it was 8' with 10' swells) and I couldn't find my groove on the borrowed board even in the white water.

I ended up forgetting I'd have to return the board and in frustration I wrote an obscenity on the deck with wax. When I took it back to the shop, I hung my head and told the shop owner what I'd done (even though I'd mostly covered it up with more wax). He said, "Come here, LSL" and gave me a big hug. He said he'd never been so proud of me. A week later, he's still stoked on my potty mouth and said the curse word is going to become my new nickname. Gawd.

Driving to the coast that morning before my lesson, I was listening to Cat Stevens (part of my latest surf drive mix) and thinking about how s-h-i-t-t-y life is lately. I was thinking about what I'd learned in a previous session, and was just noticing that I'm still in such a damn hurry to just get where I'm going. And actually, I don't really care about getting where I'm going; I just want to avoid where I'm at now. It sucks. But I had a thought while driving in, while I was focused on all of the resistance I'm feeling -- resistance to being 40, being single/without Huntington Beach, being overweight/out of shape, being in the middle of this ridiculous career change. I thought, what if the resistance is part of the process? I wondered, what if resistance is not something to be avoided or gotten over, but an important part of the process of getting where I'm going? If that was the case, I might be able to let up a little, not feel quite so much like I'm wasting time but more like there was possibly something important to learn from this difficult place I'm at.

Honestly, if you want to know what I was thinking about, I was thinking of my cat. JJ has a meow that is so irritating; I swear that one of these days I'm going to video it and slap it on the blog. I love that cat and we've been together for about 15 years, but some days he won't stop with the meowing and I want to put him in a box with holes and ship him to Uganda. But that morning before I left for the coast, he was meowing and meowing and meowing, and I was thinking: I guess that, no matter how irritating it is to me, if he's doing all that meowing, he must have a message he wants to get out. He must have something to say. And that's what I was thinking about when I was driving in -- that my resistance lately has been incessant, and that maybe I should stop trying to put it in a box and ship it to Uganda.

When I got to my lesson I told Jules what I'd been thinking about during the drive -- not the cat part, but that maybe instead of rushing to get rid of the resistance, I could consider viewing it as important, like a messenger. Maybe there was something I could learn from it. Jules agreed wholeheartedly. She said I should invite resistance in, get to know it, fix it lunch.

So of course I spent most of the lesson wondering what I would make Resistance for lunch. I was pretty hit-and-miss on my rides. Afterwards I told Jules that I wanted to focus as much as possible on getting my timing down on green waves, and that I wanted to paddle out every chance we got. So that's the plan: paddle out every session, make resistance lunch.

Help!

Velocity Vectors is creating a logo for my non-existent Etsy store (I decided to go with LSL - it's just easiest), and I received the following 5 mock-ups. My sister and Sizzle like #3, but since the idea is that eventually the shop will feature things I've sewn, I like #1. Will you guys please give me your thoughts? :)

She Was A Showgirl

Meet Lola.


She likes 70's music, extra dirty martinis, and long walks on the beach.

Yes, Lola arrived today. I went through hell and highwater to retrieve her from the delivery company, so our relationship seems to have started out on a contentious note. I have no doubt she'll make me earn every small victory I have with her.

This is what we did tonight:


I wish the fabric was clearer -- it's all Japanese and so cute.


You can't tell, but the lining of the bags are orange triangles, fluffy blue and white clouds, and yellow polka-dots.

And this is how the dining room area looked when I was done:


Not quite up to my usual standards, but I was pooped by the time I finished. (FYI - I didn't drink out of the bottle. I was just holding my glass as I took the pic.)