I don't even know who that girl was in that post from last week - talking about the weight struggle not being personal or shame-based. What was that about? I think I'd gained a certain amount but was still working out occasionally and feeling somewhat in control. Right after that things went to hell and since then I've been feeling so many old feelings about my weight struggle. Ugh. At my heaviest and my thinnest, I've always said this is my struggle for life, the one I'll always have to keep in check. So I'm trying to not crawl into bed, pull up the covers, and come back out in three years. I'm trying to remember that this is no surprise - I struggle with my weight. I just do. I'm here again, I know this place. And I just have to fight to separate the issues so I can deal with the emotional stuff in a non-food way, and then fight to get out there and get active so I can make my heart happy. Argh.
In other news, the project I've been on for a couple years at work is ending this week. Weird. It was supposed to go for 4 months and it's been almost two years - it got extended about seven times. We found almost all of my kiddos new positions, so they're taken care of, and I found myself one as well. It starts a week from tomorrow. It's with the same company and I'll be managing a group of people, just like I've been doing forever. But it's a new line of business and it's a pretty good move considering how things could have happened. Hey, look - something worked out. It's hard not to immediately go into "Oh shit, I have a new job" mode - worry about the (considerable) learning curve, what my new boss will be like, if I'll have monsters on my team. I want to enjoy the "Something worked out" a bit.
There's more. We'll talk about it. Soon.