I'm so grateful for my condo, which I love. It's homey and such a perfect space for me. But I've noticed that it's taken longer for me to feel settled here. I worry that expressing that could come across as being ungrateful for my new home, but I'm not. I just loved that old apartment so much and never really saw myself moving from there. I guess I knew I would, but I wanted to stay as long as possible. (And I guess I did.)
In the summer, I would race home from work to put on my bathing suit and enjoy the pool. Every day. I got more use out of that pool than any other resident. I never took it for granted.
Lately our weather has turned warm again and I've been reminded of how grateful I felt every time I dipped my toes or more in the water. It kept me outside for most of the summer, and I loved it so much. At my core, I'm a fish. I always have been. And I miss those lazy evenings when time would almost stop and the warm air hung on for hours and I would take a quick nap on a chaise lounge and then do a few laps in complete silence, not even splashing when I would turn. It was like a meditation. Day after day after day.
It's been a year now since little JJ died, and I think it's kind of hard to not be in that apartment because it's where I lived with him. We occupied that space perfectly together, and I miss him. I've thought about getting another kitty, but in the past it's made me almost sick with grief to consider it. Lately I've been thinking about it more, but I just planned a couple of long weekends away like I do in the summer. It's stressful to find someone to care for a pet while you're away. I might see about finding a good match when my travel is done.
I love my new space. My sewing room is so nice for me, and the central air conditioning, which I used tonight for the first time, is a dream. (I had central air installed in my last condo and two weeks later started interviewing for the job in Japan . . . ) It's just a couple blocks from work, and it's a small enough space that it's easy to care for, but not so small that a person would go crazy. But my old apartment was a different kind of home. I walked in the neighborhood at night, my grocery store was right behind the buildings, I loved driving up the tree-lined main street in the autumn and seeing the seasonal colors. And I had a place to soak in the sun and I had my kitty. And now I'm just trying to find some of the unique things that will make my new place a special home. I think it's going to take a while.
It takes time to make a house a home. I'm still finding my groove too. There were so many things about my old place that just fit (even though I had to adjust moving into that place too, it's just so long ago, it's harder to remember that).
ReplyDeleteI love your sewing room so much! It's so perfect.
ReplyDeleteWell, you'll have to come hang out at my pool with me this summer
ReplyDelete