Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Bad Day

I had a difficult day at work today. And by "difficult" I mean the kind of day that makes you wonder if some people have souls. I have the worst blend of empathy and naivete that is something like having "Sucker" painted on my forehead. Sometimes life BITES.

What sucks is that I got GREAT news first thing when I walked in this morning (a friend is pregnant -- long story, but it's really amazing), so I was immediately elated. About five seconds later, I got very bad news which continued all day. Now I'm exhausted. Bipolar is hard if you're not used to it. MY GOD, I got beat up today.

I'm not being funny, but both of the kitties that I posted about on 4/22 died. What's worse than kitties having died? They didn't have much of a chance, but still. (Feel bad NOW, Brendon??? jk.)

I loved the comments under "Happy to be Home," below. I was wondering about Matt and if he ever feels claustrophobic, or maybe he feels totally chilled out because it's just a season in his life, not forever. I can appreciate Sylvana's comment. I got a bit of a rash thinking about Derek's situation; God, I hope his 6,000 sq ft of stuff is in boxes, color coded, labeled and alphabetized. If not, I'm free next weekend. I just sleep better knowing that stuff is organized. Not my stuff, just any stuff. I wonder what makes people go one way or another with this.

Anyway, I've been mulling over returning to the States. Today actually marks 2 1/2 years since my move overseas (but who's counting?) and so I'm extra reflective. (Ok, I'm this reflective all the time.) I could live over here forever with the right position, but I haven't found that yet. Like a friend says, I need to work for a place I can have pride in. Like Al Qaeda. I don't know what I'll do, but for now I'm trying to ride the wave. In my opinion, all of this hellish hell hell that I'm going through right now is part of the process that will ultimately lead to a new chapter for me. I hope I'm not in a straight jacket by the time I get there.

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