Is anyone else getting spam from Jesus lately? Seeing his name in the e-mail "from" line kind of throws me off. I guess I was hoping he would have something more profound to say, especially around Easter and all.
I feel like I should post a job update, but I don't really know how to explain the past week. I started my new job on Monday and IT WAS ROUGH. I cried for hours that night and decided that I should probably quit. I cried every night until Friday, which was the first day I didn't spend my lunch hour plotting a dramatic suicide (Death by Lotus Notes) to be carried out in my cubicle.
The jury is still out. I'm completely overwhelmed with the learning curve and the culture shock (think Time Warner Cable Guy x 1000, but the now TWC Guy is from NYC and speaks so fast and with such a thick accent that I can't understand a word he says.) I don't know anything, seriously, about the line of business. Not one thing. I'm not used to being in that position, and I'm finding that I'm lacking the confidence that I can pick it all up as quickly as I'll need to. But I'll say that the people are nice, really nice, and my boss still seems great. I've been very candid with her about my worry that I won't be able to get up to speed quick enough, and she doesn't seem to share the concern. But I feel like there are so many ways this could go wrong, and only a couple ways it could go right. I don't know if that's accurate, but that's how I feel.
Those of you who are nutjobs about The Secret will find this part completely orgasmic: when I moved to Upstate, I stayed in a hotel for two months. It was part of my repatriation package from my former bank. During that time I was looking for a job, and I would sit in my living room at the hotel, going through the want-ads, and look out the windows to two office buildings that were across a small field. They looked new and professional, and were clearly secured buildings. (To a banker that means those people don't have to interact with the general public, which was one of my criteria for a new job.) I just liked the "feel" of the offices. And day after day I would look out my windows at the buildings and think, "I want to work someplace like that." So fast-forward five months and, yep, I'm working in one of those two buildings.
I don't know what's going to happen, but I am really taking it one day at a time. It's all I can handle right now. I'm focusing on learning the LOB and learning my boss's style, and I have to believe that if all the confusion and crap from the past ten months worked out, that this will work out - somehow - too.
I'm thinking about putting my archives up again, so we'll see if it happens. For now here's this - one year ago I had finally decided that I would have to leave Japan sooner than later.