Foul

I hate to think I'm this vulnerable to the elements, but the heat kind of ruined my life last week. I guess I've learned that a big part of the whole loving my funemployment thing hinges on being able to be outside and breathe fresh air and be active.

So I've just been kind of passing the time, which I don't like to do. This is what I've done recently:

• Movies. I saw Away We Go. It's good. Something about it struck me as trying too hard to be really, really arty, but it's a good movie. She's a believable actress.
• I saw Up. Good lord, I bawled during parts of that movie. It got a little long and manic for me, but it's definitely worth it for the beginning.
• I saw (500) Days of Summer. Totally good movie. Best use of a Hall & Oates song. That guy is so expressive. Great flick.
• I went for a few short jogs in the mornings and almost died.
• Then those movies made me kind of depressed about what passes for a good movie and good acting these days.
• I went to yoga and could only finish about 1/3 of the class. I laid on my mat on my back for the rest of the time and I might have cried a little.
• I got my roots colored. Thank god. Back to my natural color.
• I let my cat hang out in the fridge to ensure he wouldn't stroke out.
• I volunteered two more days at that int'l aid org, continuing to hope they'll fall in love with me and hire me. So far it's not working.
• I remembered I am technically a student with student ID and, at the advice of Rhi, I went to see Storm Large's Crazy Enough on the cheap. Wow, Storm is a great, great singer. The show is very good. Performance art like that is always a little awkward for me - I was in the second row and it felt a little vulnerable. But I liked it and felt so lucky to live in a place where that kind of stuff is available to little old me.
• I ate a huge bowl of spumoni ice cream.

I was frustrated with my surfing lesson last week. Jules and I could both tell I'd improved and that my Hawaii practice went a long way for me, but it was still a bummer. I started this whole thing to try something new, something totally foreign, in order to practice not being good at something. Somewhere along the way I started liking it enough that I want to be good at it. That's tough. I was exhausted almost immediately - I don't know what happened there. They also didn't have my wetsuit size (XL) so I had to wear one size down (L) and that was a stiff, bendy situation. It felt like I had a girdle on from my big toe to my ear lobes. I've wondered if I should just sell enough drugs to buy my own wetsuit - I don't mind borrowing the suit itself (as long as it's available in the right size) but the rental booties and gloves are all torn up and squishy. It would be great to have my own. But I need to be sure I'm going to stick with this first. I have another lesson on Thursday so I hope I can be more patient with myself. I'm practicing 3 pop-ups on my bed every day, but even practicing discourages me because it still feels so unnatural. Whine, whine, whimper. But I'm going to keep it up.

I'm also going through another bout of insomnia. This one sucks. When I do sleep I have intense, semi-relevant, crazy, messed up dreams. I would expect these kinds of dreams after a heroin binge. Every last one of you have been in them. Plus every person I went to grade school with, the person who drove in front of me yesterday, my mailman from New York, and Steve from Sex & the City.

The weather looks like it will be turning sometime midweek, so maybe I can get my mojo back.