Day by Day

I'm not doing very good with my resolution to post more. I've sat down to write a couple of times but I'm still struggling with knowing what to say.

I've been looking hard for a job for a couple of weeks now. I've had two great interviews and I have about three good leads. It's hard. I question my decision to limit my search to one area (I'm upstate NY, not in NYC), but I'm going to stick with it for now. Some days I feel so lucky to have extended time off and other days I can't see how in the world this is all going to come together. Last week was a particularly rough week, but this one is already looking better.

I found the cutest house in the world in a great neighborhood in a great part of town. I've been driving by it visiting it each day and hoping that it doesn't sell for a while. I wish I felt confident enough to buy the house now while I still have time to receive my shipment (which will be the equivalent of an eight-bedroom house worth of furniture and junk) and get settled, but it's not the right decision for me right now.

I'm going to try to be brave enough to go to a local Alanon meeting this week, even though I've heard the meetings on the East Coast are way different (and more religious) than meetings on the West Coast. I want to meet people and start the process of developing relationships. Ultimately that is what makes me happy.

I think of Japan often. Every once in a while a thought will run through my mind in Japanese instead of English (a short, simple thought), and I did bow deeply to someone last week. I didn't know what to say so I just straightened myself up and walked away. Sometimes I mentally run through the drive I took many, many times between my two banking centers (four and a half hours apart) and think of the countryside in the old, more secluded spots. I can close my eyes and wander through all of the pottery shops that I used to frequent. It's crazy how much detail I remember - the pattern on the sidewalk in front of the stores, the smell of hot tea during tea parties, the feel of the cool porcelain in my hands. Usually it's a pleasure to go through my memories, but sometimes it feels so sad and lonely.

I walk the dog in the mornings and evenings, I run errands for my sister and brother-in-law, I read good books, I grocery shop and cook (that's new and something I'm really enjoying right now) and I watch crazy TV (ok, does anyone else love "Starting Over"?). So that's the update for now. More of the same is in store, I'm sure, but I'll continue to try to post when I can find the words.