eWhore

It’s zero degrees right now in upstate NY. That pisses me off. What exactly is zero degrees? Why even say it? This morning it was -20 with the wind chill. There was a warning that a person with exposed skin could last no longer than thirty minutes outside before getting frostbite. ??! I’ve never experienced this kind of weather before. If you live in a place where the words “white out” mean nothing to you, thank your lucky stars. I know I’ll get used to it and stop being so pouty. I’m a slow adapter.

A few weeks ago I went on eBay for the first time (hello, slow adapter) to sell some Japanese stationery. Today I received “seller feedback” that said I am “the nicest eBayer ever!!!” and “A+A+A+!” The same buyer sent me a personal e-mail that repeated the sentiment and then added, “Your handwriting is gorgeous!!! You must hear that all the time!”

I feel almost dirty about how great that made me feel. How insecure do you have to be, like on a scale of 1 to 10, to get off on that? One being that you don’t even write in a diary because you’re afraid you’re too boring, and ten being you write on the Internet, “I’m tall and I’m luscious and I can’t help it.” The handwriting comment was what really did it. I am an absolute slave to my Type-A tendencies, and reading that felt like the teacher made a good example out of me in class.

And I do hear that all the time. Do I get a gold star now?