In other news, eHarmony and I are over. My subscription first expired on Valentine's Day (ouch) so I renewed because I didn't want that hanging over my head. Then it expired on my birthday (ouch) and it auto-renewed before I could stop it. Now I've disabled the auto-renew and I have just another week or so. It's ok, it's time.
I originally configured my settings so that I would only get matched with men from my area. I can't see myself moving for a relationship - there will be enough to resent him for later on; I don't need to add that to the list. But after visiting NYC in February and seeing where all the yummy men are kept, I expanded my settings to include NYC. I decided that if I met someone from the City, I could move there and let him think it was for him, when really it would be just because I think I probably belong there. I did get matched with some kind-of interesting, kind-of cute, kind-of tall men from that area, but nothing really amazing. I don't think I have impossible standards or huge walls. I am attitudinal, but only in the cuddliest of ways. Maybe it's the medium - it's so hard to express yourself in a one-shot bio paragraph. Or maybe it's me - I think I've been alone too long and enjoy my own company too much to risk it for "I'm looking for a woman with nice legs who isn't crazy" or "I find literature not only cool but fascinating."
I'm glad I tried it, and I might try it again after a while. I don't know if this is true, but I think it's going to happen for me in a different way. Maybe something more like this: I'll be hanging out with a friend and I'll casually mention that in my closet all of my clothes are grouped by color, shirts to the right, skirts to the left, or that when I have a cold I keep track of my sneezes with tick-marks on a sticky note, and they'll look at me and say, "Oh my god, I have someone you have to meet."
OK please tell me the keeping track of your sneezes was a joke ....right???? huh......???? Plus I think you should move to the city, then you might just "accidentally" run into a hot an yummy. On the Subway, or at a Grocery store... and you can have one of those amazing stories to tell one day about how you met your "Hot-n-Yummy".
ReplyDeleteSo then, I guess you had at least one date with the guy who now feels like he has to specify that he's looking for someone not crazy?
ReplyDeleteYeah moving only works if you move somewhere that you too can flourish. Otherwise...eh. Trust me on this one ;).
ReplyDeleteTry this, try that, use this company, use that one, post an ad, respond to an ad.....sounds like a lot of work....and I'm sure it is. As much as I believe in all of these sites and in ad posting, I also believe in the right time, the right place, and the right person. And, more strongly, in YOU being open, available, and portraying that attitude to those around you. You'll find what you're out to find. But, my dear, E Harmony? I wish you huge success.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EHarmony
Well, e-Harmony won't take the gays anyway, so I can't really comment. But I have a little profile up on match.com, putting my toe in the water after a long time away from the dating pool, and meeting online just ain't fun. Unfortunately, there aren't many other ways for me -- in my DC neighborhood, in my work, in my community -- to meet single gay men my age. So ... you do what you can do.
ReplyDeleteI believe you'll find your match when you least expect it. I was a small town girl in Oregon who ended up meeting a guy from Venezuela. Who would think..and now 17 years later we are still married with 4 daughters! Love will find you...just stop looking.
ReplyDeleteI've tried Match.com and had mixed results, all of which still have me being single. I agree with the others, though... just keep your eyes open and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised one day while pushing your cart down the grocery aisle--who knows whom you might bump into.
ReplyDeletegood lord, you kill me.
ReplyDeleteby the way, that was meant in the best of ways. :) i'm howling over here! and hoping for us both!!
ReplyDeletei signed my sister up for all of these about a year ago. she was happy on her own but i was not happy for her. heh.
ReplyDeletenot fun. met a great guy on match. absolutely no chemistry. none. he was in love, she never could be.
happy on her own. i should have listened to that. i was as happy on my own as i'd ever been when i met my sweetheart.
OMG! I LOL'd over the clothes closet and sneeze remarks. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI knew eharmony wasn't for me when they suggested my perfect match was a guy with a mullet and glasses circa 1984 who mentioned the importance of expressing his feelings about 25 times in his profile. Sweet lawd.
ReplyDeleteI did, however, meet my boyfriend online. It's possible, but I'd say if this were an infomercial you'd see a little tag in the corner that reads "results not typical." Thank god love finds us, regardless of what we do.
eharmony does not cater to gay people and is homophobic so i don't particularly feel that it's too much of a loss for you :) however, my good friend dave found his wife on match.com and they have been together for 5 years now and just had their 2nd beautiful daughter. keep tryin'!
ReplyDelete"I can't see myself moving for a relationship - there will be enough to resent him for later on..." ROTFL
ReplyDeleteYou could do a stand up comedy. What about trying out for "Last Comic Standing".