Friday, March 23, 2007

Of Kids and Concerts and The Perfect Man

First of all, I'm famous. I love making the short list.

Second, I don't think your kids are cute. I'm sorry, I totally wish I did, but I don't. I do like children, but not when they're in front of me in Target pushing the buttons for mommy's PIN number on the credit card reader, or when they're in the elevator with me, and daddy lets them push the buttons for every floor. I wish I liked those kids. I don't. This kid, however, is cute. (Scroll down; last pic.) Maybe if I arranged myself like that I would finally sleep.

Also, four hundred lesbians, ten guys, and I went to an Indigo Girls concert last night. It was so fun! I'm not a huge fan, but I love live music and I can't resist an acoustic performance in a small venue. I'd never seen them live, and I just couldn't believe their voices, especially Amy, who has the lower voice. I love deep singing voices and she is a powerhouse. Their albums (I guess those would be called CDs now) don't do them justice. It was awesome. While I was waiting in line for the show, the venue was selling tickets to see Travis Tritt tonight so I'm headed out again. I don't know much of his stuff, but I do like the one about the Fu Manchu. And he has a great, deep voice. (Update: I'm home, and the TT concert was totally fun. He seemed really humble and hard-working, although the crowd was a little scary. Not really my people. But I still had a great time!)

Finally, all of that reminds me that I caught a Craig Carothers show in Portland the night after TequilaCon. I am a huge Craig fan, and it was a total surprise that he was performing in Portland, AND at the Kennedy School, where I was staying. I wish his marketing people were better, or something, so more people could know of him. He's amazing. I think I have a CC song in the memory of every major life event for the past fifteen-plus years. The show was acoustic, in the round, and on my top ten list of most fun times ever. I love that "She Needs Me" is his most requested song on iTunes (lyrics below, but more info here, including audio - #8.) It's one of my favorites, and pretty much sums up what I'm looking for in love. Why doesn't anyone get me? Maybe Craig is available.

My baby got a high I.Q.

Big job, big paycheck, too

She’s a gourmet cook; her (something French, maybe) is off the hook

She plays the fiddle and the violin

Depending on the kind of mood she’s in

She can dance and sing

Hell, she can do anything

But still a woman’s got needs

That call for a man like me . . .

When it’s time to kill a spider

Take out the trash or change a tire

If there’s a jar with the lid too tight

Or strange noises downstairs in the middle of the night

If it’s raining I can walk the dog

And every time the toilet’s clogged

I’m down on my knees

Thank god she needs me

She’s the independent kind

A good woman of heart and mind

With a will so strong

It got her through the Boston Marathon

She’s a pilot and an engineer

A fire department volunteer

Not a timid soul

And did I mention that she hablas espanol?

But I understand

She still needs a man

When she’s feeling lonely

Or for a little heart-to-heart

Or when she’s in that special mood . . .

Like when it’s time to move the sofa

Or practice something that she learned on Oprah

Raking up a bag of leaves

Or hauling off the Christmas tree

Spider, tire, trash or jar

Or setting up the VCR

I’m down on my knees

Thank god she needs me


  1. The Indigo Girls are awesome live! I was not a fan before, but the wife got me into them. We've seen them a number of times since. Good times.

  2. Hey! I'm famous too! Cool!

    Hello, LSL.

  3. We had a couple of tickets by default last summer to see the Indigo Girls at the Oregon, it was an amazing evening...out under the clear, blue, summer sky...with drinks, food, and great music. And, you are so spot on, those kids aren't funny or amusing at all.....can I just say 'at all' again. And neither are their "parents."

  4. ok so ...uh.....uhmmmm the lyrics to that song????? uh yeah..I think I just found out why Patrick keeps me around.And it sems that true to your lil jezebelle self you have been running around willy nilly acting out on your trampy "Concerts ". Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Although I loved the line 400 lesbians 10 guys and you. I think I even LOL'ed. :)

  5. ha ha ha! "Also, four hundred lesbians, ten guys, and I went to an Indigo Girls concert last night."

    I love the Indigo Girls. They are really good in concert! Lucky. :)

    Wish we lived closer so we could hang out.

  6. You bet they're "albums", hon. And you keep calling them that. CDs, as a term and item, are dead. The "album" is an artistic expression, a conscious, purposeful collection. The term "album" no longer has a commodified meaning.

    I know what you mean about live music. There is so much that I can love live but wouldn't think about otherwise. Last fall I saw The Flaming Lips at Voodoo in New Orleans and knew them only vaguely but they were by far the best thing of the both days of the festival.

  7. Craig Carothers, eh? Never heard of him. I'll have to check him out. Wish I'd stuck around another day to party with you more and hang out.

  8. You are famous! And I didn't know your name was Redacted. What a cool name. Strange, but cool.

    Second, the Indigo Girls are the I have every one of their cds --- but I've never seen them in concert. For that, you are the target of my unfounded jealousy for today.

    There were ten guys there? Really? That seems like a high number for an Indigo Girls concert. Just saying...

  9. Wow....thanks for saying my baby is cute. I promise if you saw him pushing the elevator buttons in our apartment you'd think he was even cuter. I PROMISE.

    And I love the Indigo Girls, but have never seen them live. I guess I should!!

  10. "She’s a gourmet cook; her vichyssoise is off the hook". Vichyssoise is pronounced like vishiswa´

  11. Thanks, Bob! Five years later, those lyrics are still generally the top search item that bring folks to my blog.

    Also, Bob? Another Bob?