Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Thirty-Six Is Better So Far

For my birthday I got a job. I got the offer on my birthday and accepted yesterday. I'm stunned. For the past two days I've been buzzing around, half exhausted/half wired, bumping into walls and staring into space. What in the world? I've been unemployed and looking (and desperate) since June of last year when I quit my soul-sucking job in Japan and moved back to the States. Why now? Why this? I'm stunned.

Let's see, what to say. The job is a very good one with a great, strong, global company based in NYC. I'll be managing three departments, and my associates are at a higher level than I've ever managed, so that will provide a good challenge for me. I wish I could say more about the specifics, but I guess soon I'll rejoin the ranks of employed bloggers trying to not get dooced. And although you never can tell 100% upfront, I will say the job sounds very interesting, is a definite stretch, good money, good benefits, comes with a special parking space :) and a little bit of fun travel, and I think my manager might be great. It's in a totally new area of finance, and it's completely away from retail/customers. It's basically exactly what I wanted, and exactly what every single person, except my sister and one friend, that I discussed my search with at length, told me I probably couldn't get. No further comment about that. And I'd love to say something snarky here about The Secret, but I can't even joke about it without twitching. How about I'll say this: if I could have drawn this job to myself by pure desire, I would have had it ten months and one big savings account ago.

So I'm happy, of course. But I'm also stunned and overwhelmed and I am having crazy insomnia. I don't know if it's all job stuff, or if it's partially related to jet lag, or maybe it's the Sprinkles Cupcakes diet that I'm on. But last night I was vacuuming and cleaning and alphabetizing my personal files until 3:00 AM. I'm totally overwhelmed. Can I do it? Do I even remember how to have a job? Can I get up before 8:00 AM? Do I own clothes other than PJs? Can I wear my Rocket Dogs with my suits? Did I ever actually don nylons or give reviews or use the phrases "value-added" "core competencies" or "low-hanging fruit" with a straight face? I'm not sure. I'll let you know.

So, I guess this is all part of the cosmic joke, but I have to mention my resume. I'm not sure what kinds of lessons I should draw from this, if any, but a couple weeks ago I got beyond over it and I completely reworked my resume, taking off every significant professional accomplishment. I striped it of anything remotely impressive and brought it down to a pathetic, three-quarter page very basic list of total crap. I was swearing and belligerent and hateful, and I was talking out loud (to no one) as I did it, telling off every company that's ever rejected me by saying that I was overqualified.

So after ten months of searching, that night I used my new resume to apply for a job online. The next day I got called for an interview, and the next day I had the interview, which lasted three hours. And that, my friends, is how I got this job.


  1. Way. To. Go!

    Congratulations. I knew you could do it.

  2. Congratulations! You made it happen.

  3. Congratulations! I'm SO happy for you. I hope this company being based in NYC will allow for frequent trips here!

  4. WOW and Congrats! "The largest Cosmo you can make please for that righteous chick right here in the Birkenstocks."

  5. Where can I get some of those cupcakes?

  6. Awesome blossom! Congrats!

    So I totally made fun of the secret until the other day, when I tried it just because....and it worked. Very very strange.

  7. Congrats. So does this mean you're moving again to NYC?

  8. Hey meemaw! Thanks - you're great.

    Lisa - thank you! Who are you?

    Michael - thanks for always being encouraging. I do think there will be some NYC trips in there for me :)

    Thanks, Rainey! That sounds like a great way to celebrate!

    Dave - it's a secret, but I'll tell you if you're really nice to me.

    Thanks, Hilly, and . . . I can't resist. I'm going to have to ask you about this, even though I might mock you about it later.

    Hey, Bri - you're a mystery man! I'll be staying in upstate close to my sister, which is great, but I've already thought about future possibilities of going to NYC or overseas with the company.

  9. i am SO excited for you!

    licks and ear nibbles!

    :) jk

  10. One more thing: if word ever, ever gets back to me that you have referred to a meeting at the office as a "download," I will never speak to you again.

  11. Wow, congratulations! And happy birthday again. Does this mean now that you'll be well financed so I can hang out with you for a week? ;)

  12. Given the abundance of props here, it's not like you need more, but 'congrats', anyway! Sounds great and I wish you the best of luck. You'll have to wean yourself from your blog addiction, though--it'll just have to be an "after hours" pursuit now. Seriously, as much as I appreciate the weekday writings of the fine folks I regularly read, I always worry that they're about .0001 seconds away from being canned.

    When I worked in IT, we'd review the firewall logs and could easily see how much time people were spending on particular websites. Needless to say, quite a few people got the boot for essentially stealing from their employer(s). So, anyway, a little cautionary tale. (Somehow I think you'll be so insanely busy, at least for the time being, that none of this will be relevant anyhow.) Go kick some ass...

  13. Hey Sizz - this cracked me up :)

    Stacey - thank you! Did I really miss meeting you at TC?

    Dave - that is so wrong. I can promise you that I will never refer to a meeting as a "download." Argh! (Say hi to meemaw for me.)

    Karl - please come! You can keep your underpants!

    CR III - yay! You're alive! Thanks for the congrats and for the words of wisdom. I actually used to be one of those managers checking people's Internet use, so I am pretty good about never, ever being on the Internet while at work. Besides, I'm a sick workaholic. I would miss working during my surfing time if I did that. :(

  14. All good things come to those who wait. Awesome. Sounds like The Sssscret is going sssswimmingly. Congrats!

    Happy B-day too!

    You're having a good month, aren't you? :)

  15. congratulations! how crazy is it that you have to understate to be non-threatening/desirable.

  16. I guess we will not be linkedin connections, now?

    Congratulations! I am so proud for you, even when I am several days late.

    I always suspected that a simple resume would get you past the moronic HR specialists--trained to toss quality resumes away in preference to simplicity. I will use a similar strategy if I am on the market again.

    HR directors ought to be required to read resumes for open positions at least four times a month at one hour increments.