Sunday, May 6, 2007

Fiesta Para Una Persona

Good morning, peeps. It's Sunday and I rolled out of bed at about 8:30 and now I'm sitting here in my pj's, eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, catching up on my favorite blogs, and listening to Jack Johnson. It's sunny out today so I think I'll spend the day outside reading. My Al-Anon meeting is on Sundays and it's always hard to drag myself there when it's sunny out. I could really use it this week so we'll see.

I don't have much to say today. The job is going ok. It's definitely interesting and my boss is great, but I still feel like I'm not picking it up quickly enough - it's just not coming. And I am still struggling with feeling exhausted all week long and barely recovering on the weekends. I don't think the job is that tiring, I think it's the learning mode that I'm in. It's like going to school for 9 or so hours everyday, (although clearly not real school, or I wouldn't have ended that last sentence with a preposition.) I can hardly find my way home at 5:30 each day. I'm going to really work to change that in the next couple of weeks. I want a better balance and it's not coming, so I guess I have to reach out and grab it by the balls.

I appreciate the comments on my last post about finding my passion. I've tried that before, and I decided that I'd rather have cash. So instead I've chosen to work a job that allows me to travel (my real passion) and I spend my spare time volunteering with organizations that work to advance causes that I believe in. I've almost lined up two opportunities that I could LOVE here in my little town, but it will be another month or so before I know for sure and can start. It's a shame - I'm a ready and willing volunteer with years (10? 15?) of relevant volunteering experience, but it's a slow, disorganized process. (Another reason why I work for cash and don't do my professional work with non-profits.)

I'm still dreaming about where my next vacation will be. Greece is currently topping the list, and Bosnia is a close second. I don't like to vacation while school is out (I'm not really into running into eight million families; please move your goddamn stroller.) so I generally go before or after summer. If I can swing two vacations this year, I'm thinking maybe Poland in the late fall. I don't know - I'm quite afraid of flying, so all the exciting planning has anxious undercurrents, but I try to not think of that at this stage (or I'd never go anywhere.) I'm definitely going to do DC and probably Montreal on long weekends, and I'm still holding out for a couple of concerts - probably in Nashville and NYC.

So that's about it, not much going on lately. The tat is healing nicely, although I'm starting to think it's going to stay with me as a faded memory of the past, versus going completely away. Not exactly what I had in mind. Tacos for dinner last night - Cinco de Mayo isn't as big on the East Coast as it is out West, so I had myself a little party for one last night. Olé.


  1. i kinda forgot yesterday was cinco de mayo. in california it's a super big deal but i didn't see much celebrating here in seattle. i did, however, eat a taco. that's not saying much since i eat tacos a couple times a week.

    as a veteran non-profit worker, i feel your pain and frustration. i try to make the volunteer process clear and if some have to wait to be placed, at least they know the time frame. i often think i should just say "fuck it" and go make some money instead of trying to be a do gooder. i can always volunteer, right? :)

    your travel plans sounds fun!

  2. Gosh, I should say that it's much more respectable to do what you're doing. I wasn't trying to come down on the non-profits so hard. I think I've been in business too long to do non-profit stuff, but I do think it's a "higher calling" in a way. For example, with the local RVA work I'm wanting to do, I happened to inquire with them a week after their annual training, so - even though I have 7 years of RVA experience - they said I would have to wait another 12 months to go through the training and volunteer there. I totally get that I need training, but it just doesn't make sense to me if you're really trying to get help for your org. But I do think it's just a question of what the best fit is, and I don't think I'm a great fit with full-time non-profit work. Eek, does that all make sense?

  3. Thanks for the update--you sound like you're in a little better place than your last post. Sure, it's still a struggle and a big adjustment, but it seems like you know the situation is temporary and that you'll find your balance eventually. I would suggest yoga or meditation or something to get you through, but you're a smart cookie, you know you'll find your way. I have faith.

  4. Why do you dislike your tatoo so much? Seems like you are going through a lot of pain trying to remove it and it's still not going to be totally gone.

  5. Michael - I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for being so encouraging and kind. I had a bad yoga teacher for the one and only time I went, so I'm a little yoga-shy, but I have used meditation before and am going to take your suggestion to heart. Thanks.

    Lisa - it's a religious tat. I used to be a bit of a Fundie, I'm sorry to say, about 16 or 17 years ago. I got the tat with a boyfriend, and I always thought I was so smart to not get his name or anything associated with him, and of course I figured that my faith was something that would never change. I'm glad to say it's changed dramatically, and I'm hoping the tat will go away soon. I have to admit that the tat is easily half gone, (meaning, less than half as pronounced as it was) so I should be encouraged. I'm just ready for it to be gone.

  6. Yer nephew's going to be in a stroller it!

  7. Thanks for the update. I understand the work / money / passion thing.

    Also, I think I have that same lamp you do. Or the Container Store copy of it, anyway. : ) (3 in a box!)

  8. well ole right back! hard to do stinky church basement when it's sunny out. my favorite aa meeting ran from late spring to early fall and was held on the stone steps of our municipal rose garden at 7 am on sundays. glorious.

    work can be a trade off. you sound accepting, so good for you.

    balance. HAHAHAHAHAA!!! define, please ;-)