What is up with working? It's been fun and everything, I guess, but I'm ready to be done now. I know this is more of me and my first-world problems, but I am getting so grouchy, so sleep deprived, so sluggish; I can't see anything good coming of this whole "job" thing.
Here's a story that's too personal for the Internet: This morning I was having a dream about having to pee, which is what I do when I have to pee but I'm so exhausted that I don't actually wake up, and when I finally woke up I went into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, got up from the toilet, washed my hands and went back to bed. As I started to drift off I realized that I still had to go to the bathroom. Yes, I forgot to pee. That's sleep deprivation.
Yesterday during a meeting that is in the running for the worst use of time in the history of Western Civilization, my contact lens jumped out of my head three times. I felt like it was trying to break free, tired of my bloodshot eyes and stinky attitude.
This weekend, while trying to gently coax myself out of my pajamas at 2:00 on Sunday afternoon, I tried to remember that it takes a long time to make friends in a new city, and it takes a long time to adjust to a new job. I told myself that if I just make the effort, I'll continue to adjust to Upstate, to it's shitty weather, and to my new daily routine. Later I realized that, while I know those things are true, I want to be happy and satisfied in the meantime. I don't want to wait until I find friends or understand my new line of business (people are saying it takes years!) to enjoy life or be peaceful. So that's the new task, figuring out how to live in the meantime. I know I'll figure it out, but it's a little painful right now. (For you all, too, I know.)