What a week. I guess I'm making plans to move back to Portland. I mean, I am. It's all happening a little fast. I've given notice to my slumlord, and found an apartment online in Portland that my Auntie visited in person today. I don't know if I should go out and see it first - I'm sure it's smarter, but I don't think I'm going to. I'm looking maybe 3 or 4 weeks out. I don't know.
It's positive; the job market in Portland is quite a bit better than the job market in Upstate. I still have a few friends in Portland. I love the Pacific Northwest; it's so beautiful. All of my family is there except my sister. My sister, who is the other half of my heart. I can't even bear the thought of not living down the street from her.
Among my many, many, many concerns is that the only experiences I've had in Portland in the 7 years since moving from there to Japan have been relatively negative. Three or four day whirlwind trips during my annual home leave when I've been jet-lagged to the extreme, leaving every friend upset with me because I didn't have enough time to spend with anyone to meet their expectations. They were stressful, terrible trips. I actually hated them and dreaded them to a certain extent each year. Before moving to Japan, I always loved Portland. But it's been a long time.
I'm sure at first it will feel like just another brief trip; it will probably take a while for it to feel like home again and to shake those negative associations. Going back to apartment living stresses me out a little. I don't think I'll really mind it, but I've had a lot of space for a lot of time.
It's really difficult to think about everything coming together. Here we go.