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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tentatively

If I leave my MacBook closed, my cat sits on it. If I leave it open, he puts his entire body on the keyboard. So I've taken to leaving it slightly open when I have to walk away from it so he can't do either. Today I went to the kitchen to get food and came back to see him resting with his front paws on the mouse pad and his furry head pushed up against the half-closed screen. I think it's warm or something. He's also blind and he likes anything that's really bright. Isn't he cute?

What a week. I guess I'm making plans to move back to Portland. I mean, I am. It's all happening a little fast. I've given notice to my slumlord, and found an apartment online in Portland that my Auntie visited in person today. I don't know if I should go out and see it first - I'm sure it's smarter, but I don't think I'm going to. I'm looking maybe 3 or 4 weeks out. I don't know. 

It's positive; the job market in Portland is quite a bit better than the job market in Upstate. I still have a few friends in Portland. I love the Pacific Northwest; it's so beautiful. All of my family is there except my sister. My sister, who is the other half of my heart. I can't even bear the thought of not living down the street from her. 

Among my many, many, many concerns is that the only experiences I've had in Portland in the 7 years since moving from there to Japan have been relatively negative. Three or four day whirlwind trips during my annual home leave when I've been jet-lagged to the extreme, leaving every friend upset with me because I didn't have enough time to spend with anyone to meet their expectations. They were stressful, terrible trips. I actually hated them and dreaded them to a certain extent each year. Before moving to Japan, I always loved Portland. But it's been a long time. 

I'm sure at first it will feel like just another brief trip; it will probably take a while for it to feel like home again and to shake those negative associations. Going back to apartment living stresses me out a little. I don't think I'll really mind it, but I've had a lot of space for a lot of time. 

It's really difficult to think about everything coming together. Here we go. 

10 comments:

  1. Wow, back to PDX? Well, it'll be good to see you. Hope we can get together. But if not, I PROMISE not to make you feel bad about it. :-)

    Bonus: I've got a couple of cute little Korean dudes you can gawk at. I could probably teach them to say some Japanese words whenever you're around if that'd be good for you. ;-)

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  2. Does this mean you've decided not to sign up for the you-know-what?

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  3. Sweet! Perhaps we will finally meet at long last!

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  4. Wow, big stuff! Don't fret (easy for me to say, right) it will all work out :)

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  5. HOLY SMOKES BATWOMAN! I had no idea you were contemplating a move back here. I am really looking forward to FINALLY meeting you. And taking you to dinner this time! Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. And please...tell me which part of town the apartment is in. I'm excited to know.

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  6. I'm excited. :)

    And I love your cat.

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  7. Well you've got to call it your "CatBook" from now on. How wonderful for Kitty that his friend has provided this warm mat/light source to improve his quality of life!

    About Portland, you KNOW I'm a fan, so I'm thrilled to hear you're moving back and I hope it proves fruitful on the job front. In fact, please look out for one for me. You know, the ones with job ads that say "Must speak with British Accent" - they're everywhere. Thank Goodness it's the only skill I've picked up over the years.

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  8. I've been sick and missed out on this post but selfishly, am glad to hear you will be back in the PNW. I visit Portland all the time and hopefully we can meet up!

    I know all this must be difficult. It's a lot to absorb and pull off in such a short time span.

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  9. omg, your cat is the cutest thing ever! makes me happy that ze did that.

    Good luck with your move back to Portland. :)

    ~gg

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