I got laid off today. It's shocking, really. I am in shock. Literally one minute I'm on hold with the IRS about a pending tax liability, making notes in files and making sure my documentation is within bank policy, and the next minute I'm packing up boxes and reassuring HR that those really are pens I brought from home; I'm not stealing anything. See the Japanese writing on the side? I got them a few years ago, before moving to New York.
Gosh, I'm just in shock. I have this strange, mild awareness that I'm being pushed into another major life transition, but I can't really go any further than that mentally. I guess that's probably good, because I just don't know if I have it in me. I got home at about 1:00 PM and since then I've been alternating between crying my head off and staring off into space for twenty or thirty minutes at a time until the cat comes up and nuzzles my hands or face.
My first worry is that there are about 50 billion other highly-qualified folks looking for work right now. I know there are other things to worry about, but that's as far as I've been able to think. Actually, my immediate concern is where I can get some pizza. And chocolate. And ice cream. And alcohol. Perhaps this is a good time to take up smoking. Or start a mild addiction to prescription pills. (God, I wish I had a prescription for something stronger than heartburn.) At a different time I'll try to look at all sides of this and see how it might work itself into something of an opportunity. But for now, I think I'll go back to staring into space. Damn, what a day.
Damn, this is awful. File for your unemployment immediately. Did they give you any kind of a severance package to tide you over for at least a couple of weeks? Man, I don't know what I would do if I found myself in that situation. Good luck to you. I pray the other side of this cloud sparkles.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shock! I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you, and in this way, too.
ReplyDeleteI know you've been thinking about a change anyway, like volunteering, so I'm sure you can see other upsides other than 'casual day', but I know that you've also got reasons to stay put for a while. Please don't overdo the pizza/chocolate/ice-cream and regret it afterwards (consider me, too, 2 days into a horrible crash diet and suffering pizza-withdrawal).
Hugs are all I've got for now until my brain engages with your news.
G x
p.s. grr... is HR ever anything other than petty and meddling? Maybe you and I could work together on some sort of anti-HR initiative?
Holy shit GF, so sorry. Is that even adequate or the "right" thing to say?
ReplyDeleteI had a crazy craving for a beer when I should be going to bed, now I know why, sympathy pain. Yes, I am drinking the beer :)
Heres to you, to the silver lining and the little ant.
Well fuck! I'm so sorry, LSL. That seemed to come out of left field. I know you'll bounce back because, as you said, you're lucky. I'm going to hope that this is just a rude shift to something even better. In the meantime, steer clear of cigs and find some good chocolate.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear. I'm hoping this turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
ReplyDeleteSo so sorry to read of your layoff. We're here for you if we can do anything, or just listen if and when you need to vent. Our thoughts are with you in these trying times.
ReplyDeletenow you can catch up on all of the tv shows you may've missed out on.
ReplyDeletemay i recommend hulu.com?
i know this will turn out to be the best thing that has happened to you in awhile, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.
now you're free to move to portland!
Woa, I didnt see that one coming.
ReplyDeleteAs you know there's always room for ESL teachers here. If you dont like money.
We're both so sorry to hear this. You're in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about the layoff... :( At least on the bright side you didn't get a place which you thought about doing so last year. I guess that could consider as lucky too :D
ReplyDeleteI'm sure things will work out and you'll be a better place. Maybe it's the way the universe wants you to slow down a little bit as you were so stressed out the past few weeks. *hugging fest*
PS: Scott got laid off in the middle of February and he just found one, so there are jobs out there, don't be discourage by the economy!
Hugs and love, hugs and love.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! And you can be sure that I'd be searching for the chocolate and alcohol, too! I join everyone else in praying that this will eventually lead to something better, even though right now it has to be scary as heck! Damn those forced life transitions!
ReplyDeleteShoots. Well the upside is that you don't have to worry about whether you'll get laid off, eh? I got the sense that was nagging at you.
ReplyDeleteI got laid off not long after we graduated the MBA program. Best thing that ever happened, I swear. Made me get a little teary on the day it happened, but it was the impetus that put me on the non-profit track I'm on today.
I can't wait to see how you reinvent yourself!
Be well, friend, and let me know if there's anything you need from this side of the Rockies.
My friends who've been laid off have all found something a lot better, and they're a lot happier. I pray for the same for you.
ReplyDeleteWishing you peace and clarity as you rediscover what the world has to offer.
ReplyDeleteHey girlie, just popping in again to say I hope you're OK. Take good care of yourself this weekend.
ReplyDeleteI am soo sorry to hear this news. However, I am a firm beleiver in things happening for a reason. Plus I seem to recal you kinda didn't like working there anyway. So that means that you will be in a better place, and with all your awesomness it will be sooner rather than later I believe !
ReplyDeletewe've been going through layoffs where i work since November and it is crazy. we all keep waiting for the call to HR. i am totally stealing pens when it happens to me.
ReplyDeleteI bet you're luck's gonna kick in again really soon. You seem like the kind of person that makes her own luck.
ReplyDeleteStop staring and start thinking.
You can do this.
I'm rootin' for ya. :)
this post has been sitting in my reader since you published, and i am just now getting around to commenting. i've been thinking good thoughts for you and hope your move goes well.
ReplyDelete