Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Being Alive

I've been slowly reentering the job hunt in the past week and it's been a painful process. Besides that there really is very little (underscore, exclamation point) out there, it's getting me to again think about what I've liked and disliked about past jobs, and what I'd like to find if I were to get my pick.

And all of that is getting me thinking about my life right now and the time I've had off. My cashola is slowly running out and I'm not ready to let go of this experience of having energy and time to do the things I like and want to do. I found a site called My Life List run by a very cool guy named Bill Starr. I have about 75 items listed so far (I'll post a link to it when I can figure out how to do that), and I get a little angsty when I work on it. I'm not ready to let go of crossing things off my list. I want to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I want to hold on to this feeling of growing and achieving goals and experiencing new things. And I don't know how to do those things when I'm working.

I guess I'm worrying that I'll have to go back to this stressed, work-centric existence. People bitch about their jobs a-lot. Like, all the time. Me included, when I have one. But I think you really have to be outside of the whole experience to hear just how much people bitch about their jobs. And I'm worried that I won't be able to incorporate any of the great things I've recently discovered (surfing, running, being happy) into my new life - whatever it will look like. I'm not obsessing about it; I have plenty of time to worry about what it will be like to have a job when I actually find one. But it's been coming to mind lately.


  1. I don't know why work has to suck the life out of us. No wait, I DO KNOW. Because most of us work under this mindset that we have to go, go, go and do, do, do and it is NEVER ENOUGH. And we don't have the attitude that life comes first and work second, us Americans. Sometimes I wish I lived in another country that prioritized down time over working all the time. I'd like a siesta or a mini-holiday.

  2. Poor baby girl, I understand what you're going through. Part of it probably has to do with giving up this comfortable nest you've put together while being away from the workforce and having to prepare to go back out into a new unknown. Anything new is always scary, but you've got resources you're not even aware of, and you probably developed them during this recent time of "surfing, running, being happy". Grab hold of your life and give it a good shake - then dance!

  3. But see-the people that bitch about work are the people that hate their jobs. Doing things to pay the bills, not because they love it.

    We all have to go through that. I doubt that there is anyone who hasn't spent time at a job they hate because they need that income.

    You have been given a do-over. And you are already thinking about it-what you liked and disliked about past jobs. Really think about it. Think about the things you've enjoyed in your time off-surfing and running. Traveling. What job can you find that allowes time to do that regularly OR, even better, where that IS your job?

    Then, maybe you'll be excited to go back to work. You can still be happy!

  4. Good luck with your hunt.

    The idea that we can do our passion for work is a newer concept I think starting with my parents generation. I don't think my grandparents ever really cared about finding jobs that fulfilled them. It is interesting to see how this has affected peoples happiness and overall health.

    Personally, I wish everyone could do what they enjoyed. Obviously work isn't always going to be enjoyable but at least we could enjoy it most days.

    I hope you find the perfect something that still allows you to be happy.

  5. You ever wonder if Jules gripes about her job?