Thursday, April 30, 2009

You Are Not a Winner

I enjoy how my online dating service sets me up. I often get e-mails like this: "LSL! Robert has sent you a communication!" I go - Whoopie! and click on the link only to find: "Robert has chosen to close communication." Really? Why the big lead up? Couldn't I have found that out on my own next time I sign in? Why compel me to fumble with my tiny keyboard on my iPhone in line at the grocery store? 

Speaking of, I think it's time for another edition of I Read It In An Online Profile (of A Person I Am Apparently Compatible With on 29 Dimensions):

"I like cheese. I really like cheese."
"My eyes are blue. The shade of blue depends on what I'm wearing."
"I can't live without my toothbrush (Sonicare yeah)"
"I am fascinated by books about kryptozoology"
"I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People a long time ago, but it was a little touchy-feely for me."
"I was a high school football champ. 1989. Good times."


  1. Once upon a nightmarish time, I signed up on eharmony (didn't know about their queer hatred then). My perfect match? A tiny dude with massive glasses circa 1984 (not in that cool, bringing-it-back sort of way either), a rippin' mullet, and six long paragraphs about how important it was for him to express his feelings in every aspect of his life.

    Good times. Yeah.

  2. Oh how I recall the gems in these on line ads. But if you wade through it enough you might find a true diamond in the rough. Here's hoping!

  3. Oh, I'm with you. These what so called "matching" based on compatibility is a joke. I once signed up (probably eharmany as well) not knowing they were not gay-friendly. I filled up all my criteria thinking I'll get some good matches. The next day I got 5 matches all of them over 45 years old... WOMEN!

  4. oh dear... these definitely werent winners at all... who matches ppl on these sites?